Losing out!

So this aint a post on the Kolkata Knight Riders.They have another person to take care of online publicity.So what could this psychopath be repenting this time.I term it losing out.I dont really know why I am so now.But I aint feeling completely bad about it all.Atleast I get the feeling I am being genuine in my feelings.Life is more than a mystery all of  a sudden.It has more twists and turns than Race.Damn who would imagine someone giving it up and telling sorry to all long lost friends.Am I really losing out on life.Yes I probably am.And i am yet to figure out what to do about it all.

Ego Whiplashing!

I really dont know what to say about today.Its probably what Abhay Deol meant when he calls himself a slut at the end of easily one of the beshtu movies of the year.Dev.D.I really feel like a slut.I have realised that I have the most awful thoughts running in my mind all the time.I am the one who is egoistic.I am really feeling like some dash.I have no real feelings right now.am completely devastated,ashamed rather at my illiterate behaviour.Am really sorry to whom so eva i have insulted over the years.I know probably a sorry would neva make a big deal now after all the pounding i have given to people all my life.Am sorry to all.I have neva really meant a sorry more than this my entire life.Am really thankful that all of you put up with me for so long I really hope I can make amends.Even if you really wanna step away I really do get it.I know people who naturally have loved me despite all these moronic acts and psychopathic behaviour of mine will tell me not to be so harsh on myself,but those are just words trying to be sympathetic to a man who has always been bad.Neva have I had one person neva say bad things about me.And when they have been bad they have harribly bad.I was probably worth just that.I have nothing more to say.Just another sorry before I leave.

Om Shanthi Om!

Anbe Sivam!

Knock Knock!

Elections are on.Indian Premier league 2 seems to be sucking along.or is it goin on well and good?who cares?Shoe attacks are the in thing.Pairing up people is supposedly funny.Speaking plain truth is wrong and irritates people.Being carefree is not sellin like stayfree.Am being boo-ed by my parents again.My cousin is engaged.Am beginnin to feel hrithik is the best actor in India at the moment probably aamir is good too.Beginning to feel a lotta people speak on things after checking on it ol.Its neva what they feel.Creative thinking is bad for health.I am getting answers to a lot of my questions by thinking.but am supposedly a psychopath.probably i have always been perceived so for the past 2 years.Probably i should let people be themselves and me be myself.you koshtin and poke fun at them you get people bugged and it all becomes stupid all over again.So I really cant love a person completely.can i?can i be touched heart in heart by one persons true love for me?Fascinating ideas.Loving helluva lotta people.Missing a lot lot more.All this rambling and crackpot shit to say Am Back! And i really wanna kick ass this time.No holds barred!Welcome back!:D

Om Shanthi Om.

Anbe Sivam.

Bilkul A-1!!!

When SRK aint SRK!!!

Shahrukh “The King” Khan.Badshah of bollywood.Proves why he has become a kinda one man industry with this one movie. He shoots in and out of two distinctly diverse characters which only the heroine in the movie cant figure out.Thats the only problem one would have with RNBDJ.

This is where I loved the movie. If it was me some months ago I would have killed this movie like nobodys business for I hate SRK when he is SRK. He gets that ego yet maintaining that charm,he believes audiences will accept his Raj anyday.No-one can romanticize romance Yash Raj ishtyle.They rule the roost in this department. I wasnt much amused by DDLJ nor was I by KKHH.(distributed by Yash Raj)

But Rab Ne was different.It was straight forward yet so in depth.Its refreshing.It shows exactly why some Men end up building a monument such as the Taj Mahal for their love and neva eva will a woman.It answers why only men commit suicide over love failures.It says it all in true Yash Raj ishtyle that makes the movie entertaining and a thoughtful one at the same time.Just go to see divine love and yea Haule Haule ho jayega pyar!!!{Love shall happen,slowly slowly}

Anbe Sivam!

Om Shanthi Om!

P.S.: Tujhme Rab Dikhtha hai, Haule Haule two enjoyable tracks and the music is the only let down in this beauty of a movie! And for all you non believers of Tanni not differentiating the two SRK’s..look at the movie as Tanni’s dream of accepting her fate and how she would like to accept her fate you might find yourself appreciating it more! Wolah Duality construct!!!

Shes here yet she aint!!!

Hmm i could simply tell shes almost here, but then again shes almost here but somewhere deep down, the muscular thing that beats lub-dub tells shes not yet here but it knows and wants it to be her. Its those one of a kind feelings.I get strange ideas..I am thinking about infidelity..what if its all a drama played by the troupe to make me feel good for a while and then screw it all up as always in the end when I think its gonna get that ferfect ending i always wanted.

So why shes here??? Well she knows enough to know why she is.Shes is all I can lose at the present moment. I have never spent so much time with someone..given so much of my not so precious time to one person. Why am i giving it to her? Coz i wanna. Aes i wanna. Shes the farmer who plucked the weeds in the field. She is the one who put in new seeds and wet the fields, helping me to revive my long lost soul. She didnt put in much. She just had to be there and she did just that.It might outwardly appear that nothing has changed but I know the spring in my step.

So why aint here??? Well few qualities are lacking..I know am jumping the gun thinking too far ahead but i know its all sealed cause i dont wanna see myself ending up elsewhere. I am at the same moment taking it by the day. Assertiveness is slowly coming in..would like to see more of it.If the belief of belonging is there then why the tension of not asserting ones ideas.I am open to new ideas.I live by it. Intelligence is there but neva shown and hence the tons of prablems shes getting into. Love helping her out with the troubles what else am I there for. But at times you know its all silly and she can be more intelligent. Independent ideas are required to understand the strength of the person. Intelligence gives rise to independent ideas..neva go with the flow for the tide might take you far away. If she only can prove to be independent and powerful I would just junginu let it take all the time in the world for I know its D.Its written.She knows she can be it all.Yet she aint.

Anbe Sivam!

Om Shanthi Om!

P.S: “Masakalli” is the dove on Secgee Sonam’s head and it means free spirited.Free-Independent.Spirited-Thrilling,Attitude to learn without ego;Independent mover and shaker.Devinately has shaken me!Kudos to ARR bhai!Bring on Dilli 6 and the rest of 2009!!!

Rahmanism!

The man has not lost his touch yet. Hes devinately the beshtu there is out there today. I dont know why but it seems he cant place a note wrong. Been an amazing year with Slumdog nomination being the icing on the cake.Here’s hoping he wins it.Happy Birthday A.R.Rahman!!!

Finding my calling!

Its just not a post to ponder over the fact that I am yet to decide what I want to do in life,its also a post that might highlight some changes in my life on close notice. To begin with I loved the movie Oye Lucky Lucky Oye! The making of a celebrated thief,could have been a Catch me if you can pretty easily but Dibakar shows us how to make movies classically entertaining. Watch it and dont miss out on the dialogues..the one liner counters are as awesome as it can get.

Bro came in from San Diego, we had this usual conversation..its my study holidays and I didnt touch my books as yet. So we were talking. I recommended this book by Arvind Subramaniam, a distant relative of ours and my brother didnt seem to care a damn for the book. He gave me a one line reply outta no-where and thats still got me thinking,”Chubby, dont ever read books that tells you about the next big thing instead learn the fundamentals that will make you question the very facts put forth in such books and will make you the content of such books.”

So how strong am I with fundamentals..I guess am pretty weak.I dont know where to go forward the path to take as I now stand at the fork.I would love to do something creative;movies,writing,blah blah;I might not be extremely talented in these fields but I feel its all there to go forward. Then there is this thought of respect from people,for which one needs to hold a big post esp. in India.And the need to do something for society has always been there.IAS,I presumed is one more direction forward. And then comes dad’s decision of me doing a MBA.I dont mind really but I dont know my calling,still on the verge of my life.Or should i go the Lucky way of not caring about the future,just steal for the present and get along with life. Would I get what I want later if am not successful?Can there be a guarantee? Well unfortunately I better find my calling soon..till then its only thinking “Mera number khab aayega!”{When will my turn come?}

But am pretty certain about certain stuff thats gonna stay in the future..thats neva eva gonna change.And for the first time..en blog elithugalil muthal murayaga..I would like the entire blogosphere to know..its D.It is written.

Anbe Sivam!

Om Shanthi Om!

How and What?

A simple How could have changed it all!

The question asked: What you doing?

The question i wanted: How you doing?

Its a small matter. But what a moment it could have been.

As Benjamin Button would say it, “Life isn’t measured in minutes, but in moments.”

But the love still remains. Hell yeah! it does! it always shall!

It would have torn someone apart had it not been spoken about.

Wrong reaction followed on speaking about it. And its torn apart even more.

Oh the missings and sufferings of this divine pain.

And i make no sense yet again!

And as Yes Man would put it, “One word can change everything!”

On the verge of life?!?!

Belated Wishes!:P

Well this is not a review of Varanam Aayiram. I liked VA actually. But still it fell short of expectations. I would still rate it 3.25 on 5 because of its honest and sincere efforts and also because of Surya’s performance in the movie. I have a few issues with the screenplay apart from that no complaints at all.

Oik so what is this post about many would question. Well to put it in a sentence “its about me turning 18″. I dont see any major difference except for the fact that very few people wished me Happy Childrens Day! I am an adult. I can walk into Sathyam or Inox for any movie without thinking what reaction I will have to give if they caught me for being underage for an A certificate movie.

Plus on the eve of my bday I had this interesting sms conversation with my beshtest friend.It was something like this

Sara: Abhi do you realise, you can drink, smoke and get married to another major(not necessarily a gal if u were California )!?!

Me: Well if you look at it I can vote, drive and have my own ATM card.

Well that wasn’t me who answered it that way was it? I was shocked when Sara again spoke to me about it in a late night phone conversation. I rechecked to see if it was me who had sent that message. I was proud.:D

Well coming back to VA.Surya was on the verge of life for a good half of the film.I am still on the verge of life.I have not understood yet what i wanna pursue…in all probability I will end up making that decision towards the end of my engineering degree.

Till then I hope no mom of a pretty gal reads this post for in all probability they might end up underestimating my capacity to succeed and my chances of getting the pretty gal could fade away into oblivion.;)

And so after all those malarial and typhoid attacks..all those freak accidents..all those chumma treats…all those bday surprises…all the warmth and affection..all the ex galfrnd troubles;)..all the frndly kalais and fights..all those jus passed ejams..all those last minute plans..all those coffees and conversations..all those sightings and kadalapottufyings..I stand here not wanting to make sense of all thats happened! happy with all thats happened..and almost having found my love and passions in life:D..on the verge of life..no longer a minor problem..as i turn 18 and hope to remain so till I die!:P(can hear many minds go dei ithu konjam over!)

Thank you mom and dad! Thank you Arthi(Satish and Sammie Bammie) and Arvind(Pooja)! Thank you Sara! Thank you Jingli! Thank you friends! Thank you all!

Anbe Sivam!

Om Shanthi Om!

Expressions.

:) 8)!

You have something to say.You are sure its gonna be good.But its not presented in the right way.All you need to do is to express yourself with some amount of clarity and your message will be passed on as per your wishes. Is it just me or is anyone else finding this world partially expressionless? Without expressions everything becomes robotic and monotonous so much so that we shall begin to find everything around us boring. And am bored. You are curbed to express your viewpoints when you are a teenager and when you really get the chance to express yourself you express something which your generation chewed on and it curbs the next generations expressions.

In India, especially Indian movies, most of the problems in society are either expressed in comic scenes or through song and dance. When you are debutants making movies, you abviusly pay attention to making the most perfect movie.You sit and work on the script like its no one elses business. We had two debutant directors at the helm of Sakkarakatti and Kathalil Vizhinthaen. They havent done their homework for sure. KV lacks some fun in a college story.They start off with an emphatic Nakku Mukka and become more serious reel after reel, scene after scene. The movie doesnt really carry off the message it was intended to because of the lack of humour expressed in the movie.It would have helped carry the movie forward a lot more. And how many more times are we gonna see ARR’s magnificent tunes being adulterated with graphics and all sorta nonsensical ideas tarnishing the very expressions the music puts forth.Sakkarakatti yet again proves ARR’s lack of understanding of debut directors. If only someone other than the top rung of directors in the country use ARR’s tune and carry it forward to the youth.Another movie which comes to my mind is V.Z.Durai’s Nepali.It could have easily been an awesome movie.The intention was good.But the love track in the movie spoilt it all.The most sweetest of all expressions, romance, soured the movies effect.

I dont know how much more angst i can express in this post. I am highly irritated with the look and feel certain movies put forth nowadays.They dont express reality and their imagination is not imaginatively expressed. A certain expressionless post by me is not gonna change much but I have atleast put forth what I wanted to express through this post.I guess its enough to stop you from staring at this stupid expressionless blog post and enlightens you to start expressing yourself with greater clarity.

Anbe Sivam!

Om Shanthi Om!